I was struggling a couple of months ago with doubts and insecurities in my faith. One night I was visiting with a friend. While I was there she asked me what I meant by being saved, so I told her. She explained to me that the reason for being baptised was for the remission of sins.
Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptised every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.
I knew that I had not been baptised for that specific reason. I had been baptised out of obedience and to follow the example of Christ.
Now I do believe:
Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God:
Eph 2:9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
However, I feel that my reasoning for baptism was wrong. So, I was baptised again that night for the completion of my salvation. Immediately I felt a peace that I had not felt before, giving me a surety that I had done the right thing.
I had no intention of leaving the church I attend to attend that church. However, I found my self enjoying with them at that church a more academic study of the Bible than I was receiving.
As time has gone on I have been feeling less sure about what I was doing and where I was going to church. Thinking on these things has been causing me great anxiety, to the point of being sick at my stomach some nights and feeling blue. I have been and continue to pray for clarity and leading in these matters. Last night I told my husband about my anxieties and he said if it would make it easier for me he would go to church with me at our original church from now on.
This of course excites me greatly, even though it is to ease my anxieties. It is an answer to the prayers I've been praying for my husband to return to church with me. I am so excited. I feel this could be the first step to having Bill living his faith with me, teaching our children with me and leading our home. I dream big. :D
Now this church that I was baptised in is a different sort of church than what I have been attending. It has been mentioned perhaps that my want for my husband to come to church could be Satan trying to take me from the church I was baptised in. I also think though that my anxieties and want to my husband to attend church could be God using me to bring my husband him. I bear in mind the word that says:
1Pe 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
1Pe 3:2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
I know this to be true because it is without a word from me, my husband is not cussing as much. He is reading the Bible on his own and participating with us in our readings. Now without my asking he is willing to come to church. I did not ask him he said if it would help me he would come. I think that is a good first step and I am walking under him in further submission if he is taking the lead.
One thing I have taken with me out of all of this a greater sense of personal responsibility to study myself and to teach my children not to rely on Sunday School, AWANA and the church preacher to teach me. Now with this new commitment I am prepared to go right back where I started from.
Though some may say,
2Pe 2:21 For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known [it], to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them.
2Pe 2:22 But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog [is] turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.
That is not so, I am going back to where I was before, but with a new peace, a new sense of responsibility and with my husband as my lead.
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